• السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ •
I wish my parents could understand
- that school is hard and I'm trying my best plus I don't make much friends this year
- that I feel useless whenever they compare me to other people
- that my generation is way different from theirs
...but, the problem is they wont.
"It seems to me like you're no even trying in school anymore."
I admit it. I admit that I'm bad at everything but it's not that I'm not making any improvement. I do improve but it's not the improvement that you can proud of about.
Hm
So, I'm sorry that I'm not maintaining an A+ average anymore, but I'm just getting a little tired of trying.
Dear mom and dad,
I'm sorry for failing you. I'm sorry for not being your dream daughter. I'm sorry I couldn't make you any prouder of me. I'm sorry I didn't turn out the way you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that I'm such a disappointment to you. I'm sorry that I'm such a mess. If I'm a parent, I wouldn't choose me as a daughter either. I know you did your best and I know how much it hurts when you found out how bad I am at school. I'm sorry for letting you down. Maybe I worth all the criticisms that were thrown upon me. If criticizing me in front of my teachers or your friends and seeing me be all that embarrassed can make you feel better, then it's okay because I know how hard it is to find and interesting topic about me to put in a conversation. I'm sorry for all the insecurities that are built up inside of you when every time your friends tell you how proud they are for their daughter's / son's achievements. I'm sorry that you can't tell the exact same story to your friends about me and feel all eager and happy until to the point that your cheeks are hurting because you can't stop smiling. I'm sorry that you can't respond much to their stories because of me. But, I just want you both to know that I always love you with all these shattered pieces of mine and in my mind there's nothing other than trying to figure out the another way to make you both happy. I really appreciate your sacrifices but yet I can't pay a single thing for you. I pray Allah to grant you Jannah as your home in akhirat. Ameen.
